Momentum

Well, momentum is working in the other direction now and I'm angry at myself. My weight went steadily down as I gained momentum and now that I am starting to gain it's going the other way. I am so frustrated with myself for allowing this to happen. I was on such a roll last summer and I lost my motivation and my momentum.

I have to get back on the wagon. like NOW.

I think the reason I am more frustrated with myself this time around is that i have never done better at weight loss and STILL i'm gaining it back.

GRRRRRRRR....

Back at it this morning

At the Y by 5:15, did my workout, came home and had a couple cheesesticks, and now I'm at the computer.

40 minutes -- 25 on the treadmill, 15 on the bike. I think it was hotter in there today because I didn't work any harder but I sure sweat more.

And you wanted to know that...

Regret it every time

Unless it is the end of a hard day and I am very tired, I never regret my decision to get up early and work out. When I do I have a lot of energy for hours afterwards, I feel great, and I'm empowered to do more. I have a sense of pride and accomplishment.

But I always regret it when I choose not to do it. Last night Kari wasn't feeling well and I should have gone to the Y without her this morning, because after all, I went for months without her last year, but I used that as an excuse. And last night, when she had her husband call me to say she couldn't come, I just want it to be known that I referred to her as a spineless wimp not because she was sick and possibly puking, but because she had Mike call to let me know.

Anyway, I digress. So the bottom line is, I don't know why I ever let myself skip a day. I always regret it when I do and then I'm crabby and unmotivated when I sleep in. Not learning from my mistakes. Good grief. You'd think I was one of my kids.

Wow... I didn't realize

That it had been since April since I had posted. That's scary. Unfortunately, I gained 10 pounds during that time as well, but this last week lost 2. So I'm eight more than I was a couple months ago and not happy at all.

I'm determined to get back on things. When I left for NYC a year ago I was at an all time low of my life and now I am 23 pounds heavier than that. I'm going to see the same friend I saw last year who was a big part of motivating me on this journey, and I'm determined to not be heavier at least. I'd love to be just a few pounds lighter, but am realizing that probably isn't going to happen. I'm annoyed with myself for gaining some of it back. The nice thing is that I did not get to the point where I was having back pain again. I didn't gain it all back. And I'm still only 8 pounds away from the lightest I had been in about 15 years.

So here we go again. Went to the Y at 5 with Kari and Sadie and her friend joined us. Not a great workout, but better than nothing. And so far I've eaten fairly responsibly this morning.

Hopefully I'm back on the saddle...

Kari's Trainer

So this morning at the Y I am totally being Jillian, looking off to the camera and commenting on Kari's progress, just like on the Biggest Loser show. And I was hilarious.

But not as hilarious as this. Can you imagine the horror of a trainer with this body and Jillian's face and personality? I decided not to spend too much time making it look realistic, cuz it just ain't gonna look realistic... trust me. But it was a lot easier making her face fit on my body than the other way around. (and yes, of course I had to use the picture of me at my heaviest. Why wouldn't i? After all, nobody can see my face...

Should it Alarm Me?

While on the treadmill at 5:30 this morning I was listening to a podcast about fitness that has people who call in and ask questions. Do you think it should alarm me that the caller was sobbing, literally sobbing, because she ways nine pounds LESS than I do?

I did lose a pound or two (can't remember what I weighed last time it's been so long) and I was really excited because if figured I had gained at least five. I did NOT want to get up this morning, but when i was done I was really glad I had. It was a good workout and now i"m more ready for my day.

I'm even motivated to get back on track now. I think I'm going to look at a year ago on this blog and copy what I was doing then. It sure seemed to work last Spring...

You Really Just Wanna Smack Em

Today there was a woman on "my" treadmill. Actually, it isn't mine completely, but it is the one I signed up for. ANd you'd think that me, Ms. Assertive, would easily be able to walk up to her and say, "hey, I signed up for this one" but instead I just sat on the bike and glared at her very very very skinny butt.

And I thought, Hey, I need that WAY more than you, can't you TELL? I swear she weighed maybe 120 soaking wet, pregnant, and after a huge salty meal where she was retaining water. And I was all, "what in the WORLD is she thinking taking my treadmill?"

But I just sat on the bike until another treadmill was free.

Brave me.

Brave, fat me can't confront skinny fit girl who stole my treadmill.

What is the world coming to?